Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him, and with him two others one on each side and Jesus in the middle.  John 19:17-18

Have you noticed how many people wear a cross as jewelry?  You see cross necklaces and cross earrings–gold ones and silver ones, plain ones and fancy ones.  In fact, crosses are such common accessories that we rarely stop to think of what they signify.

To the people of Jesus’ day, wearing a cross as a decoration would be about like you wearing a little electric chair on a chain around your neck or little electric chairs dangling from your ears!  It was not a shiny ornament you could hold in the palm of your hand.  It was a rough, heavy instrument of torture that Jesus had to carry on His own back.  It was a dreaded device of death to which He was nailed.  It cost Him everything.

Now it is a symbol of victory!  The cross is empty because Jesus rose from the dead and is seated at the right hand of God in Heaven.  It’s a symbol that means everything to God!

Do we really think about what happened to Jesus when we wear that cross around our neck or do we use it for just a piece of jewelry?  I admit when I saw “Passion of Christ” I went to their website and looked at all they had to sell for that movie.  They had a crown of thorns on a chain that I bought for $75 dollars.  Did I buy that for looks or did I really understand the meaning behind those crown of thorns? I knew the meaning behind it, I was and am a grounded Christian, but as I think about it I also wanted people to see it and comment on that piece of jewelry because I had never seen a necklace in that form before, so I actually bought that necklace for the wrong reason.  As I look at that crown of thorns today that I don’t wear as often anymore…I think of what Christ had to go through for me and it’s a reminder and not just a piece of jewelry anymore!

What’s your thoughts on jewelry that represent or signify what Christ did for you??

Sorry to all my readers…it’s been a while since I last posted!  Have you ever felt overwhelmed, but couldn’t figure out why? We all have been there and I am there at this point in my life and have been the past several weeks.  Is God trying to teach me something?  Is God trying to transform me?  Is God trying to mold me for the work He is about to have me do?  Is God wanting to use me, but can’t use me as I am now?  Am I just putting my hands in every spot that needs help in the church?  What are the answers?

I have been having tough issues of where I should be serving in the church.  What about your issues of serving?  Do you know where God wants you?  I know that my passion is for teens and have worked with teens the past 6 years of my life, is that where God wants me?

Since starting Crosspoint I have been greeting which I love very much because I am a people person, I have been working in Fusion K-5th grade and working in with the beautiful babies, my husband and I open our home to Lifegroup on Wednesday nights which is AWESOME in itself!  Has God put me in these places of ministry because He wants me there or have I taken them on because I think I should be apart of everything in the church!

My thoughts at this point has been that God needed me to experience these other ministries to know where my true ministry is.  It didn’t mean that he wanted me to stay in some of these ministries.  During the past 8 months God has been refining me for a ministry that I am very passionate about, I feel I just wasn’t ready for that ministry when we came to Crosspoint!  God did not want me there YET…He had some refining to do on me.  Not just small stuff…he was having to skim some very ugly junk from the Hot Pot of Silver!  From the time we came to Crosspoint…I was hoping to be able to work with the Youth….NOT!  God needed to do some work on me and He was bringing others to Crosspoint that had talents and qualities to form a team?  Thank God, He doesn’t let me be in charge!  It’s His timing not ours.  Ever been there? Uh…yep!

What is God’s refinement procees?

Psalm 66:10-12 (The Message)  Used “The Message” liked it’s interpretation.

^8-12 Bless our God, O peoples!
Give him a thunderous welcome!
Didn’t he set us on the road to life?
Didn’t he keep us out of the ditch?
He trained us first,
passed us like silver through refining fires,
Brought us into hardscrabble country,
pushed us to our very limit,
Road-tested us inside and out,
took us to hell and back;
Finally he brought us
to this well-watered place.

God’s refining porocess:  First God tries us (tests, proves or examines) us. This is not the most exciting place to be when this happens in our lives.  Sometimes I feel as if God is testing me constantly, but you know I figured out that if I am constantly being tested then I need to take a step back and look at how I am responding to His test.  Am I responding  in an obedient or disobedient way to what He is putting into my life to refine me.  If I respond obediently then I have made it through that set of trials.  See it is an ongoing process because we are not what God wants us to be and will not be until we meet Him in the air.  But He is getting us ready, and at the same time you could say, He is getting us ready for the next work he has for us in this world or ministry!

He refines (makes pure or purge) out our weaknesses, our weak hearts and unfaithfulness. He is setting the fire a little hotter because through his fire our Refiner will perfect an awesome work in us.  He will take what is impure and make it pure.  He will take what is dull and make it beautiful.  He will transform us into His treasure. I can look back from when we joined Crosspoint and see where God has been transforming me through the Silver Refinement Process…yes it hurts!  Now I see where I should be ministering in our church.  (By the way…I will not tell you the Ministry that God is giving to Paul,  I and several other Crosspoint team members at this point…it is a work in progress is what I can tell you.  It’s going to be an AWESOME ministry! Woot! I’m so excited!  Sorry lost my thoughts for a moment! Ha! Here we go!

There are so many fiery flames in many of our lives.  There are disappointing situations, from minor things that irritate us to major tragedies, this is where He will make a difference.  Different flames, different fires (trials) will come and go.  In the pressure of their heat is where we we’ll see the impurities of our lives being released and rising to the top.  Then the Lord will start to skim them off, purifying us, refining us into His image.  He sometimes will have to make the fire a little hotter to cause new impurities to rise to the top.  To be exposed for what they are.  Then these too, He will skim away.  (And man have I had some impurities exposed in the last 8 months and still having them exposed)  At first He may see only a dim image of Himself as He looks into our life.  But as time goes on His image becomes clearer, more glowing, more beautiful.  We have to remember that all these trials and tribulations that we are going through for Him is to refine us and to prepare us for our ministries ahead!

Remember, (which is hard to do…because I’m a failure at it) during all these trials and tribulations that we are going through for Him is to refine us.  He never leaves us or forsakes His treasure which is us.  As long as the fire is burning He never leaves that crucible, never steps away from the fire.  He is always there to make sure every flame that reaches us is exactly the right temperature- not too hot! – to accomplish its work in our lives.  He knows the precise temperature to maintain so we don’t face more than we can bear.  He test and proves our faith, not to discredit us, but to show us how far we’ve come.  He perfects our perseverance.

The fire has been HOT under me lately…He is purging!  Getting me ready for the next level of helping in a new ministry! I’m fired up, I love Jesus, I love my Pastor and his wife, they both have ministered to me!  God put me under Pastor Dave’s preaching for a reason.  God put me at Crosspoint for a reason!  I know that reason now!  Not only have I met knew friends, but have been able to minister to some of those friends and they have ministered to me.  God has released something within me to be able to go out and invite people to come to Crosspoint and explain to them what it’s all about!  Never would I have dreamed I would get to play a major role in God’s world like He is allowing me to do!  I give Him all the praise and glory for it all!

I will leave you with this question.  Who are you in the Refiner’s picture?  Can He begin to see His image?  Who am I in the Refiner’s picture?  I’m still dim in His image…but he is skimming the impurities right off the top and I’m sure my fire will get a little hotter and little hotter until I’m obedient for that next step I take in becoming more like His image!

]]> http://lynnpittman.wordpress.com/2009/02/24/are-you-being-refined-by-the-almighty-refiner/feed/ 4 lynnpittman http://lynnpittman.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/god-said-the-church-and-the-christian-will-be-persecuted%e2%80%a6why-do-christians-persecute-the-other-church-and-other-christians/ http://lynnpittman.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/god-said-the-church-and-the-christian-will-be-persecuted%e2%80%a6why-do-christians-persecute-the-other-church-and-other-christians/#comments Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:11:29 +0000 lynnpittman http://lynnpittman.wordpress.com/?p=202 ]]>

This is something I am experiencing in my life at this very moment and others in my extended family as well.  I have come to the conclusion that the church I attend today is a better picture of what God has set before His Church to do.  So why, do people in the church you left, begin to persecute you and the new church you attend?  Are we not as Christians suppose to work together for the cause of Christ? 

These are issues we have heard and have been directly commented to about.  This is what they “think” our church (Crosspoint) is about.  Why do they not have their own “building”, this is a “cult”, a “drive in…drive right up to the movie theater”, this church is not “playing by the “rules” of Christianity.”

Oh, I never knew you had to have a steeple on top of your building…please someone find that scripture for me so that I can make sure I am within the “rules” of Christianity.  And the cult thing…ha…maybe we are a cult…a cult for Christ, (don’t have to explain myself there).  Or maybe I should, I would call us bondservants of Christ.  Do you know what a bondservant is…let’s see: a slave; one who is bound to service without wages. 

Exodus 21:1-6   1 “These are the laws you are to set before them:

 2 “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything. 3 If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him. 4 If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free.

 5 “But if the servant declares, ‘I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,’ 6 then his master must take him before the judges. ^[a] He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.

As I see it, there are two “Christian” visions that compete: 1) the traditional church with its structures, programs, and leadership; and 2) the Biblical commands of Christ to go to the lost, make disciples, baptize those who believe, and teach them to observe Christ’s commandments. To me these are two worlds colliding, I’m not saying that structures, programs, are wrong, but this is what many churches base everything on without Christ being the center of the church. Maybe to some they are one and the same, but what I am learning is that they are different cultures. We SAY that our churches are about reaching the lost, but when it comes right down to it, they are following a “churchianity“ (reminds me of have my pastor might put it/not that he did) vision where the real goal is to get people to GO TO CHURCH especially those that are like the ones that are already in the church…not truly the lost…the messy people…the drug addicts…the alcoholics…the….you get it. I know, most churches would frown on such people walking in the church in this condition, this was said to someone in my family just yesterday.  Would you let them sit next to you in the pew?  So is your church actually here for #2, to go to the lost, make disciples and baptize those who believe.  Christ’s commands and vision is that His Church GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES of the nations.

So with all that in mind, yes, the church I attend meets in a movie theater (Crosspoint Community Church) which I have mentioned many times in my blog, we worship to a cool band that sometimes play secular music and video bumpers to make a realistic life situation point.  The church does what it can to reach the lost in a very different way than your traditional church.  Our pastor preaches or should I say God speaks through our pastor in a way that those who do not know Christ as their Savior can relate to what is being said.  My children, since attending Crosspoint have been able to tell me that they actually knew what our Pastor was talking about.  Do you think a person that has no idea who Jesus is can understand the King James Version of the bible?  Well, this would be the same as that same person walking into a church where the pastor uses all those Thou’s and Therefore’s …will they get it…probably not!  So don’t go slamming the church I attend or anyone else attends…until you know for a fact that you are so biblically correct you can confess that to GOD!

The way I grasp the vision for our church is NOT trying to reform believers who have spent years in traditional church settings.  I see Crosspoint as being the church that is bringing non believers off the street and into the homes via live streaming internet to hear the words of Jesus Christ and the words of HOPE to those that have messy lives. I see the real key as starting with the NEW BELIEVERS who are being won through Crosspoints Ministry and then discipled.  They don’t have to clean up their lives before they start attending church. They are the future, not those sitting in church pews.   

The church can “talk the talk” all it wants, but few of them actually (I didn’t say all) “walk the walk” and DO what Christ said.  There is so much a conflict of visions in our Churches today!  Get your thoughts about other Churches out of the center of the Church and FOCUS on the vision that GOD has set before us!

This is what Crosspoint does and it with JESUS “is” going to make an impact in our community the surrounding areas and the WORLD…so get off your high fluting church skirts and become a part of spreading the Good News of Christ to the hurting people in the world!  People are going to HELL everyday and we are sitting on our butts talking about other Churches.

Join together as Churches for this cause of winning the world to Christ.  We are doing a series call ReThink!  Let us all ReThink everything in our lives for the cause of the Kingdom! 

God Bless! 

I am so ready for the New Year 2009, God has something special en-store for my family…I know it!  God is Blessing!  Last year beginning January 11, 2008 we stepped into a storm that actually blew our entire family away…it was so unexpected.  It not only affected my family, but, my extended family as well.   

Have you ever felt like your life has just been ripped right out from under you and there is no where to turn…church gone…friends gone, even friends that you actually thought were your best of  friends, just vanish.  This is what happened to our family…all our friends were in the church.  Cuz you sure don’t want to hangout with non-Christians…now isn’t that right??????  Talk about this more on into my blog!

We left our church toward the end of January, God leading us to worship in our home.  I did have 2 friends and my entire family and Pauls family that stuck to us like clue during this storm.  Although, our BIGGEST and BESTEST friend was JESUS.  Even though I so love those 2 friends and our family, He was the One we needed the most!

We began worship in our home as soon as we stopped attending our other church.  We got up every Sunday morning took our showers as if attending church as we normally would have.  My hubby put all the music together every week and we jammed for 30 minutes to our favorite worship songs.  Man how AWESOME this was, Jesus was rockin in our house with us.  We played the music as loud as we wanted, clapped, raised our hands and partied with the JESUS!  Amen!  After our worship time we watched a video relating to teen issues then following this we did a Kay Arthur 40 minute study lead by my hubby!  Zachary did song worship with us, then he would go and watch a Bible based video in his room.  On Wednesday nights Paul met with our teen boys and did Bible Studies with them while Liana and I did a Bible Study together maybe this could have been call our small group time.

Our family was growing closer and closer together.  Paul and the boys became close and Liana and I became mother/daughter friends.  God had us right where he wanted us in this season of our life.  Even though it was hard we tried our best to keep our eyes on God and be obedient in everything He wanted us to do.

We never missed a Sunday or Wednesday night for 6 months in our home.  God began moving in mine and Paul’s hearts…leading us both in the direction to begin searching for a church.  We begin to visit churches and praying that God would show us the right church.  We visited 2 churches and neither one of us nor the kids felt like God was leading us to either one.

I was searching online for churches in our area and came across Crosspoint Community Church which met in the movie theater behind the Mall in Decatur, AL.  I ask Paul to view their website and see what he thought about it.   I felt like from reading and listening to Pastor Dave sermons online…that this might be a place we could check out and the kids would like.

We had our first visit in June…(during this time Blake our oldest was in Basic Training at Fort Benning) we all thought it was awesome the first Sunday we were there.  We went back again the next Sunday, and the next…we were being drawn to this church.  I began to write Blake about the church while he was at Fort Benning…he was getting excited about it just through my letters.

Let me go back…the first time we visited Crosspoint, what stood out in my mind from the whole sermon was a comment that Pastor Dave made,  ”Crosspoint is a church that wants people that no other churches want,” man that got me fired up!  Pastor Daves sermon was awesome and the worship leader and band were worshiping exactly like we had been doing at home for the past 6 months.  Think that might have been God leading us?

Well guess what, we are still there and have not visited any other churches.  We are involved as volunteers for a portable church…which is the most awesome church I have ever been in or a part of.  Crosspoint is not there for the Christians, but for the lost.  Just as Jesus didn’t come for the religious but for the lost.  Mark 2:17  17 When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”  I’m not saying they don’t love the Christian body…but they need the christian body that comes there to get up off their butts and do Gods work.  Crosspoint wants to harvest the fields that are white to harvest of Morgan County, the City of Decatur and all surrounding cities and counties.  Crosspoint, the staff and volunteers are busy about this work and put their hearts into it.  Yes, it is hard work for them and many are up and at the theater setting up by 5:00 a.m. on Sunday morning then taking down after the service in time for the theatre to open. 

God is Blessing!  Crosspoint is doing 2 services now.  Paul and I have seen it double since we began attending.

Pastor Dave works a full-time job, his job has him traveling, but he never stops ministering to people!  He feeds and ministers to his sheep!  And is fired up about winning the lost to Christ and that is his Vision and his Vision for Crosspoint. 

As I look back on our trial of 2008, I see Jesus carrying my family because there is only one set of footprints.  I see him carrying us right into the doors of Crosspoint and giving us the opportunity to serve Him and be a part of a Vision I have never seen before.  Thank you God for leading and guiding us in this time of trial. 

Another thing I see as I look back over the years and that I have learned from our storm of 2008. is that I pretty much only had christian friends.  Since being at Crosspoint I have learned and have been challenged through the scripture and God speaking through Dave that it’s ok to hangout with or have lost friends.  That’s who Jesus wants! 

It’s ok for someone to come into Crosspointchurch with their houseshoes on.  It’s ok for someone to wear blue jeans on Sunday morning, it’s ok if someone comes into the service with 8 holes in each ear, it’s ok if someone comes in with tatoo’s on their body, it’s ok if a drunk comes in reaking of alcohol, it’s ok if a homosexual comes in, it’s ok if someone with marital problems or drug users come into our church (Crosspoint) on Sunday morning because that is who Crosspoint wants. 

How am I/you suppose to witness to somebody that doesn’t know me…are they going to listen?  Yes, I can be a witness by shuving the scripture down someones throat and MAYBE some would take me up on the offer and accept Christ as their Savior, then what…will they know what to do.  But, if I/you spend your time getting to know that lost person, showing that lost person how much I/you care, devoting our time, our prayers, helping that person out in ways that no one else could do…just maybe this person is going to get to know me/you and through me/you will come to know Christ.  What an investment of our time!  AWESOME!

So this is my taking on beginning the New Year 2009.  I am only going to make one New Years Resolution.   This is…to be OBEDIENT TO GOD IN… INVESTING MY TIME in getting to know HIM more… INVESTING MY TIME into getting to know lost people and WINNING them to CHRIST!  I need your prayers…I’m human, I guarantee you I will mess this up, but keep me lifted in your prayers that I will run the race that is set before me.

Hebrews 12:1-3  1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.^[a] Because of the joy^[b] awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people;^[c] then you won’t become weary and give up.

God Bless and Have a Happy and Blessed New Years 2009!

It seems as if we go through life wondering if our husbands, our children, family members and friends love us.  Sometimes we feel insecure about the other people in our life, and are not sure where we stand.  Even though we try to tell and show everyone we love them, they don’t seem to catch the answer…do people test our love for them? 

Do your children sometimes wear crazy clothes, put rings in their ears, color their hair in strange colors, and use bad language to see if you really love them?  I have to admit, I sometimes get upset at what my oldest son wears…haven’t had to worry about rings all over the body yet, strange colored hair or bad language (that I know of) lol.  Our whole culture is continually testing us to see if we really love them…don’t you think!

Before going to Crosspoint Community Church  I would look at others and say why in the world would they want to do that…is it for attention?  The recent series of “INKED” put all this in perspective for me…actually just attending Crosspoint changed my whole perspective on loving others as they are.  Why do we judge the outside?  It is not what is on the outside…but the inside!  Do they have Jesus, do they LOVE Jesus is what counts.  Have I done my part to share the love of Jesus to get others to love Him?

How about Peter and his love for Jesus. Check out this scripture John 21:15-22. 

15After breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”

   ”Yes, Master, you know I love you.”

   Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

 16He then asked a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”

   ”Yes, Master, you know I love you.”

   Jesus said, “Shepherd my sheep.”

 17-19Then he said it a third time: “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”

   Peter was upset that he asked for the third time, “Do you love me?” so he answered, “Master, you know everything there is to know. You’ve got to know that I love you.”

   Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. I’m telling you the very truth now: When you were young you dressed yourself and went wherever you wished, but when you get old you’ll have to stretch out your hands while someone else dresses you and takes you where you don’t want to go.” He said this to hint at the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. And then he commanded, “Follow me.”

 20-21Turning his head, Peter noticed the disciple Jesus loved following right behind. When Peter noticed him, he asked Jesus, “Master, what’s going to happen to him?”

 22-23Jesus said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you? You—follow me.” That is how the rumor got out among the brothers that this disciple wouldn’t die. But that is not what Jesus said. He simply said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you?”

In this passage Jesus asks Peter three times (after His crucifixion and resurrection and Peter’s recent denial of Him) whether Peter really loves Him.

I believe that these basic questions…

• Do you love Me?  (verse 15)
• Do you love Me? (verse 16)
• Do you love Me? (verse 17)…

are in agreement with Peter’s three denials of Jesus (John 13:38)

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while…everything has been out of sorts for me this Christmas season!  I usually have all my gifts bought by Thanksgiving or right after!  I really screwed (sorry) messed that up this year!  I was shopping right up until Christmas Eve and still didn’t get stocking stuffers!  I know I am a terrible mom!  First year my kids has ever gone without stockings…they didn’t even get candy in the darn things.  It was if I was turning in circles.  My hubby did the shopping for our kids.  (All I had to do was buy for other family members and little odd and end stuff.)  On top of that my hubby wrapped all the presents. 

I don’t tell him enough how thankful I am for him, nor how much I love him.  God sent him to me for a reason…no one else can understand or would understand me.  I’m not saying my hubby does either but, he tolerates me!  He definitely has Galatians 5:22-23 in him.   22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control.  The funny part is, my hubby also thinks God gave me to him.  Isn’t that neat?  He saves me often from going off the deep end…sometimes I’m already in the deep murky stuff and he manages to pull me out, build my confidence, self-esteem and helps take away all those worries that I tend to have often…(yes, I know that is a sin).  When I talked about him being my hero…in my life story on this blog, on facebook and myspace…I mean’t it, he truly is.  When he took me as his wife, he mean’t every vow he said to me and he proves those to me daily.  I have never seen a man…not saying there is not one…but my hubby has always put his children before anything in this life besides Christ and myself.  Our family was built by him.  Even though our family has had life struggles and trials set before us, our faith in God and my hubby being the leader of our home  has helped us keep our eyes focused on Christ and not the situations we were in.  YES, it is definantly hard not to dwell on those difficult seasons in our life, but Jesus is our HOPE our Eternal HOPE.  This is the HOPE that we want others to know.  I can truly say there will never be another man in my life if my hubby goes to heaven before me.  I do have to admit that my hubby is…my hero #2.

My hero #1 is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for he died that I might be set free.

Romans 6:6-11   Could it be any clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the cross with Christ, a decisive end to that sin-miserable life—no longer at sin’s every beck and call! What we believe is this: If we get included in Christ’s sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection. We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That’s what Jesus did.

Now I know my blog started out pathetic, feeling sorry for myself.  But you know what?…my kids didn’t get as much this Christmas as they usually do and didn’t even whine about it…yes, everything was very hectic, but this has been a very happy and memorable Christmas for me and my family.  We have spent quality time with each other and have had church via internet at our home and celebrated Christ’s coming!  Now how can I leave this blog saying that I didn’t have a Wonderful Christmas! 

I really need to mention that I have many people who inspire me from my church, Crosspoint Community Church.  Our pastor, Dave Anderson , many friends on my twitter and facebook and the many friends on the right of my page that blog who keep me encouraged about church and the vision that our church has. 

Have you ever thought about being marked in Christ?  Our church just finished a series entitled ”INKED”, it definiately left a mark on our church and on me and my family.  Our pastor, did things in our church during this series that probably no other church in Alabama or anywhere close has ever done.  I’m quoting him, “We did it because it was THE VERY BEST WAY to communicate WHY Christ came to earth and show what our response should be.  When Christ came he left a permanent “mark” on this planet.  He left us here to continue that.”  Please follow this link to his blog and read “INKED” – IT MARKED US!  Also, read the INKED Stories that were told by some of my friends from Crosspoint.

I will leave you with CHRIST, MARKED, and to CONTINUE!

God Bless and Merry Christmas!

Just a little recap…alcohol, drugs (no needles) at age 16, sex at 18, and married into a marriage of adultery and abuse (physically and mentally) at age 20.

Here I am a 23 years old, a divorcee weighing in at 90 lbs. from lack of food and depression.  I had no job, lost at the time my ex-husband was arrested for selling drugs.  I didn’t want a job, was afraid of people, had low self-esteem, felt worthless, I was so fragile I mostly just wanting to die, but was afraid to.  Being raised in church, I KNEW I would go to hell. 

Being raised in a Christian home, I knew what Jesus did for me, I wanted to do what was right, I wanted a marriage with Christ and the church in it.  I had convictions when I did all these bad things in my life, but I had problems and I was screwed up.  Satan had me and I was not willing to change.  I believe I was definitely running from God.

After the divorce I could have gone back home to my parents, but chose not to, my life was a mess.  One of my sister’s offered her home, I would be able to stay with her until I could get on my feet.  I would go on interview after interview, it terrified me to interview with anyone especially a man.  I thought…who would hire someone that looked like me, and one that was so introverted as I was, no one!  I would cry myself to sleep at night and pray for God to get me out of this mess.  You know how you pray (I know you all know what I’m talking about) and ask God to do things for you?  The only time you call on Him is in your own time of need.  That is exactly what I was doing, feeling sorry for myself begging God to fix it, but not wanting to turn over anything to Him. 

In 1984 my oldest sisters friend got me a job at Mid-South Machinery in Athens, AL (Commercial John Deere Dealer, you know those BIG yellow ones) as a receptionist.  Oh my gosh, that was crazy, I was afraid to answer the phone (seriously).  Then they expected me to use a CB radio to talk to our mechanics that were in the field working on the the heavy equipment.  Not me, no way!  As days went on I begin to feel more comfortable with my job and the people I worked with.  I was promoted within 3 months of being there!  I began to help in the parts department.  Little 90 lb. me handling dozer parts!  Then I was sent to open a store in Tuscumbia, AL…good grief, I really did that!  I was getting more and more confident in myself.  After being there for 6 months I was promoted to Office Manager working directly for the Sales Manager.

Making more money, meant back into drugs and drinking.  I was making enough money to move out of my sisters and move in with a friend I went to school with.  Eventually our apartment became known as the “Animal House!”  People all over Decatur new of our parties even people in jail, because many people would get caught leaving our apartment.  It was nothing for my roommate and I to drink a 5th of Tequila and half case to a case of beer every night…party after party after party.  The police visited our apartment frequently, because of loud parties. 

I loved my job and made sure I was able to work everyday.  So now I’m in a completely different world from being married…I was loving it!  I was happy with my job and all the new friends I was making.  I was coming out of my shell, that I had been beaten in for 5 years total.

Let me switch gears now.  Sharing this is very hard and shameful for me, but I need to tell it to the ones that are reading my blog with similar problems.   Here goes…after getting a little confidence built up in me, having big parties every night, meeting new people, having new friends.  I decided I would treat guys like I had been treated in the past.  As the saying goes “love’m and leave’m!”  I did exactly that.  

Since being saved, I have told my story to youth groups and they would gasp as I would say, “I have been with more men than I can count on both of my hands!”  I couldn’t even tell you some of those mens names because of being messed up and drunk.  Then I would follow with this, “Sex is a good thing”,

At the end of 1984 I began a new job at Delta Research, Inc., Huntsville, AL.  This was an engineering firm…contractor for the government (Missile Defense).  I started as a receptionist.  This is where I met Paul who became my best friend.  We would hang out at bars after work and drink, I was still smoking marijuanna, Paul didn’t, matter of fact none of the ones that I hung out at work with smoked it. 

Eventually I was promoted to a technical typist and had to have a securtiy clearance so I came clean of drugs, I needed to keep this job, it was the best opprotunity I had ever had.  The Defense Investigative Service came back to me after there investigation of me and told me everything that I had done from my first husband on!  Unbelievable huh!  I had never been arrested, how could they know!  I told them that I still drank but did not do any drugs anymore.  I had several conferences with them and they finally gave me my security clearance. 

I promoted to Security Manager (over classified documents) in 1985 and then in 1989 I became Office Manager.  Paul and I had been friends during this time and would do things together with a group.  In June 1988 he ask me out and our relationship went from a friendship of 4 years to falling in love.  You couldn’t seperate us from each other at that point.  The thing about our relationship was we new about one anothers dirt!  When we started dating we began talking about what we wanted in a family.  We both wanted to raise our children in church although he was a little skeptic because of the experience he had as a teen in the church.  Within a couple of months I had moved in with Paul (Madison, AL) and then on February 24, 1989 we were married.

One of the ladies that worked with us would call me into her office often and witness to me.  I would sit and listen to her, I really wanted what she had.  She was planting a seed.  I got to where I would go to her office and talk to her and would cry but never make a commitment.

I found out I was pregnant in November 1989.  I quit drinking and smoking cigarettes with the wonderful news and was ready to become a mother.  Although I did have the most miserable pregnancy anyone could ever have, I think.  I was trying to go back to college for a Computer Science degree and just couldn’t handle it being pregnant.  I worked at Delta up until my 8th month of pregnancy.  I had Blake August 21, 1990.  By the time Blake was 4 weeks old he was a very sick baby.  We were in and out of hospitals, doctors running test…finding nothing.  Paul and I decided that it would be best that I stay at home with Blake so I quit my job at Delta in 1991.  I will talk about this trial with Blake later in another post.  

We moved from Madison to Somerville in 1991 so that I could be close to my parents.  I was so ready to settle down and have a family that went to church together and able to raise their children in church.  I began visiting a church in Priceville in January 1991.  The pastor at this church was my pastor at the church I grew up in during my teen years.  My parents were very close friends with he and his wife so they knew all about what had happened in my life all those years.

I began attending worship services regularly, Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night.  Blake was just about 5 months old and attended with me on Sunday mornings.  Paul still didn’t attend, very involved in his work and wanted his time off spent with his son.

In March 1991 I was saved by Gods grace.  It changed my life, of course it didn’t fix the stuff in my life that was screwed up or twisted at that very moment, but God started changing me!  It has been a long haul I am a picture of Old Testament Israel…so disobedient and stupid.

The pastor made a visit to Paul and said something that stuck in his mind and made him think about coming to church.  That quote was “there will always be hipocrites in the church, but it is better than the alternative.”  So in 1991 our family began our life together with Christ and the church.

I had to go through some rough stuff before I would let God take control of my life.  God has brought me a long way I can see Him in it every step of it.  He picked me up and carried me many times in my 1st marriage and is still carrying me now.  God is still working on me, “I’m under construction,” and will be under construction until He takes me to be with Him.

There is so much more I could share about what I have done and where I have been in my life, but I just wanted to touch on some pieces of it.  I hope that in reading this, if you are in an abusive relationship you seek help in Gods word and others.  If you think God could never forgive you for what you have done, look back at my life one more time and see where I was and what He has done for me.  I am thankful that I gave my life to Him, I now have that loving husband, that loves God and 4 beautiful children that are letting God lead their lives also.  We all attend Crosspoint Community Church and are serving as God leads us and are very fortunate to be in a church that has a vision like Crosspoint.

I am so thankful for what God has brought me through.  If you have been following my post on “My Life” which is not complete, you can see where I have been in my life thus far.  I made wrong choices as a young teen, but God used my circumstances to mold me into what I am today.  He continues to mold me like the potter does his pottery or the silversmith refining his silver.  The fire may get hot, and by all means I’m not rejoicing…but, I look back and see how I have grown from the Potters or Refiner’s Hands!  He is not through with me yet!

I went through a time in my life where I had no food or very little (I didn’t go in detail about this in my post on “My Life”).  I am so grateful that I spent that time knowing what it feels like to have no food or very little, no washer to wash clothes or money to take them to the laundry mat, only a tub (bathtub for scrubbing them), no car to go places or a junk of a car with no money to put gas in.

God had a plan for me even after I had made those choices. God is using me now as a servant to others and I am so grateful for that.  I love helping people, it is my passion.

Our Life Group from Crosspoint Community Church  had the opportunity to help with a couple and their 2 granddaughters for Thanksgiving, she was such a blessing to our group!  This is things of which I am so thankful for.  Being blessed more by the ones you are helping, this is what I love.

I am thankful for Christ dying for me and the entire world that we may have eternal life with Him.  I am thankful for my mom who raised me in church so that when I strayed like the prodical son, I knew to come home.  I am thankful for my husband Paul, my friend, the love of my life and my hero.  Without him I would have not had values in my life.  He has taught me so much throughout our 19 almost 20 years of marriage about family, caring loving and respecting one another, I am so thankful that God put him in my life.

I am thankful for the church that I attend now (Crosspoint), it is a church that has a vision to reach the lost (the unsaved) and I feel blessed to be apart of that vision.  I love God, my Husband, my family, my church and am thankful that I have these in my life.  My God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve.

Psalms 100:3

3 Know that the LORD is God.
       It is he who made us, and we are his ;
       we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Psalm 95

 1 Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
       let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.

 2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving
       and extol him with music and song.

 3 For the LORD is the great God,
       the great King above all gods.

 4 In his hand are the depths of the earth,
       and the mountain peaks belong to him.

 5 The sea is his, for he made it,
       and his hands formed the dry land.

 6 Come, let us bow down in worship,
       let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;

Psalm 107:1
“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

Between the ages of 16-18 years I was partying heavily.  I began hanging at a house in Decatur that was known as “The Party House of Decatur!”  I made many friends at this house, why?, there was no judgement between anyone, you were accepted the way you were.  Come on in the more the merrier.

Still very introverted the drugs and drinking that I was doing helped me be a little more outgoing.  So by age 18, I was doing pot, pills (uppers, downers) some cocaine, drinking, and playing poker for money, I guess you can say the only thing I hadn’t done was had sex!

The police knew all about this house and it’s owner.  It was raided several times when I was there.  Did that scare me away from being apart of all this?? No! I look back and wonder why God didn’t take me out.  I can see how God had his hand on me and how he was guiding me even in my rebellious stage!

I eventually got up the courage to tell my mom that I wasn’t going to attend church anymore, that I had nothing in common with all those that were attending and most of them didn’t care about church either.  So I stopped going!!!

Then…I met a guy at the party house one night, he was 4 years older than me and very nice looking.  We began dating, if that is what you want to call it.  He began living at the party house, I was there night and day, so this was our date nights.  He never came to my home to meet my mother or father, I knew my parents wouldn’t approve, but I did talk to them about him, I made him sound good.

I was still a virgin at 18, then the inevitable happened.  We had been dating several months, he would tell me he loved me, he was going to marry me, so it would be ok.  I was so naive and wanting someone to care for me that I let it happen.  Soon after we started dating, a warrant for his arrest was issued to him (jail time for writing bad checks) I had no clue this was what he was doing!  He was in Morgan County Jail for about 3 months.  I attended the jail every Sunday to see him. I look back and I know God was giving me clues…No. 1 reason not to marry him! 

While he was in jail I began talking to my parents about him and what kind of family life he had (none…both parents were alcoholics and father was dead) I told my mom we were going to get married, so could he please come and stay at our house, he needed to get away from this home and try to make his life better by getting a job so we could get our own place when we married.  One condition they said, “he would have to stay out in the garage which we had enclosed.”  That was cool with me!  Eventually, we started living together under my parents roof!  How could I have ever done that to my parents?  I made that choice and my parents let me get away with it.  Reason No. 2 not to marry him!  God still trying to move in my life…I’m not listening!

During this time he would go to work, but not come home after work.  Why did I want to marry someone like this.  This was not my upbringing.  But, I had already had sex with him and was going to change him, this was the man I was suppose to marry, I thought.  We were together 2 years before we married, he treated me like *&%#!  Friends tried to tell me things that he had done but, I wouldn’t listen.  Reason No. 3 not to marry him! God still speaking!

Marriage Day, May 1980, big church wedding, many people on my side, few on his.  My dads pockets were emptied on this wedding.  We had no money for a honeymoon so my sister let us borrow her apartment!  Yeah, a borrowed apartment for a honeymoon!  The night of our marriage a couple gave us a big party.  On top of my pill popping my new husband put drugs in my drink!  I passed out to wake up and find him gone.  My friends told me he left with another girl!  What?  On our wedding night!  Yep, it happened, he slept with another woman on our wedding night!  Reason No. 4, God says this is not the husband I have chosen for you.

From 1980-1983 I was abused physically (battered), abused mentally and almost everyday someone else besides me was sleeping in my bed.  I was the only one holding down a job at this time.  His job was selling drugs.  In late 1982 my parents were visiting our home with my niece (Tina) when our home was surrounded by the Drug Enforcement Officer’s (he had sold to an under cover the night before).  They busted into our home with guns and began throwing everything around.  I begged them to let my niece and my mom leave, but ask my dad to stay, I was afraid.  They took my husband to jail after they had ram sacked our home.  My dad stayed with me, I told him I was so sorry and ask for his forgiveness.  As my father, he forgave me and tried to talk me into coming back home.  I looked at my dad and told him, “I made my bed, now I have to lye in it.”  Reason No. 5, God shows me this man was not intended to be my husband!  God is trying to move me in the right direction, but I’m not listening.  Look, God was giving me the out!  He had committed Adultery against me and I knew it!

He made bail (can’t remember who signed) and was out the next day and made a plea bargain with the drug enforcement to be a nark!  Yep, turned in his friends.  No jail time spent. 

After getting busted, we were ask to move by our landlords.  We moved into an apartment complex where one of my other sisters (Nancey) lived with her roommate, son, and baby daughter.  We had no food, and was living on welfare for our rent and utility bills, I barely made minimum wage and he did not work at all, he could get a job, but would work only long enough to get a little money then quit.  I kept Nancey’s daughter part-time also.  

In March 1983, it was my day to keep my niece (Beth) Nancey’s daughter, but her roommate wanted to keep her.  She was going to drop Nancey off at work and take her (my sister’s) car to get some work done on it.  Nancey called my dad that afternoon and said her roommate had not made it to pick her up so she needed a ride home because she couldn’t get in touch with her.  My dad drove to the Arsenal to get her.  When they returned home a police car was waiting in the drive at her apartment.  The officers ask them to get in the police car and ride to the Arsenal.  The officer told them there had been a wreck on the Arsenal involving her car.  I found out later that evening that Beth and my sister’s roommate had been killed in the accident.  My sisters roommate had not taken the car in to get it fixed, but had been drinking at a friends house all day!  She was drunk and hit another car head on.  Beth was 3 years old, all I could think about was that it was my day to watch her…if I had of kept her my sisters baby wouldn’t have died that day!  God was really trying to get my attention!

My father was still a new Christian at this time, but he knew God’s Word.  He held our family together through this huge loss and trial that we were all having to experience. 

After this I started attending church again, but I just couldn’t give up things in my life that God wanted me to give up…drugs, alcohol, and being abused by my husband.  How could I have loved him that deeply?

The sleeping around and abuse by my husband continued and we separated many times, and eventually divorced in October 1983.  I just couldn’t take it anymore!  I divorced him!  I felt worthless, had very low self-esteem, more introverted then I ever had been, afraid to even look at people, talking to people…no way, I was just plain battered.  Was I not low enough yet to listen to God???

If you haven’t read “My Life Part 1″ you can find it in my recent posts or archive.

Let me take you back just a sec for a better understanding of my raising!  I was not a bad child, I was afraid I would get into trouble if I did anything wrong, remember I was an introvert.  I was spoiled, after all I was 8 years younger than my sister and I was the baby.  As a child growing up I did what all kids do…test my parents.  My parents were good role models and had never been in trouble a day in their lives…not even a speeding ticket.  I never saw my mom or dad drunk, my dad may have had an occasional drink.  They had a great marriage and are working toward their 61st wedding Anniversary.

I need to explain to you why I didn’t fit in…in my early years.  I was born with “Dewayne Syndrome,” a muscle in my right eye was not long enough to align my eye straight in the center (my right eye stayed in the corner toward my nose) cross eyed, yep cross eyed!  Kids were mean and this is what I was called “Cross Eyed Lynn!” 

When I was very young I remember hiding behind my parents because of embarrassment, not wanting anyone to notice my eye!  My eye doctor was trying different things with my eye trying to stretch the muscle because surgery was risky (I didn’t know how risky the surgery was until I was about 40 years old).  At 12 years old my doctor decides to do surgery on my eye.  The surgery straightened it, but it can never be fixed perfectly.  I still see double when I turn my head a certain way, when I get tired my eye gets lazy, if I’m trying to focus on someone talking to me it will sometimes drift!  By the time I was 40 I was sure that technology had come for enough along that I could completely get the ole’ eye fixed…it’s very annoying when driving and you have to turn completely around in your seat or you will see two cars! LOL!  I saw a new optometrist, she took one look into my eye and told me if anyone ever told me they could fix the ole’ eye then I had better high tale it out of their office.  The surgeon that had performed my surgery had done an excellent job and that was all that could be done.  Her answer was ok for me, I had already gotten through the rough times in my life that I really worried about what people thought about my eye!  Not until I was in my late 20’s I could use my eye for laughs!  I can do something with my eye that others can’t do and we all get a kick out of it now!  I have family members trying to learn to make their eye do what mine can do! LOL! 

So back to my story!  So my eye is kind of fixed, but I still have the issues of being a very shy teen with a low self-esteem.  I spent my early teenage years 13-16 at the skating rink just like everybody else in the 70’s.  Laugh out Loud there was nothing else to do.  Ha! I’m old!!! During these few years I was turning into a heavy smoker and teen girl that used very profound language!  Still in church every Sunday, Sunday night and Wednesday night! Oh, smoking wasn’t so bad, most all my friends were doing it, even my church friends.  My friends and I would save our lunch money and take time about buying them.  That’s how cheap they were in the 70’s, I think $.35 – $.50 cents a pack.  We would walk right into the store and buy them…no ID required!  It is an encouragement to know that my child can not walk in the store today and buy them, but it doesn’t mean it will keep them from smoking, but it does make it a tad harder.  That is the choice that they have to make…right or wrong as they mature! I pray and hope that each of my children will make choices they won’t REGRET! 

Now don’t get me wrong, God was speaking to me all these years, I wanted to do what was right and be saved…but I was angry with God for the way He made me!  I would beg him to make me attractive, to take away the eye thing, to help me fit in with those popular people, to give me a brain that could understand what I read and retain it.  All I was doing was running from Him instead of stopping and listening and giving Him my life.  I want you to remember as you read about my life that God was with me through it all, I never saw it then…but I see it very well today!

Then…I turned 16 and received my drivers license!  What is it about turning 16 and just going crazy? I know…some teens do and some don’t, well I was the one that did.  I wanted to fit in so bad at that age I was going to try what ever I could to make that happen.  I wasn’t a leader, I was a follower…remember I was a very shy introverted child and teen! 

So where was I…Oh, yea 16 and license!  Guess where that took me??  With the license came the begging for the car on the weekends…me and one of my best friends began circling and hanging out at the boat harbor down at the Tennessee River…this was a hangout for everyone of driving age and older! I practically took over my moms car. How did that happen?? I was spoiled and I did throw some fits!  Fits at 16, me Nah!

We started out riding around on Friday and Saturday night with a normal teen curfew. We met many people as we would sit and watch the cars circle!  Everyone stopping and talking with each other, meeting many people much older than us, more experienced in many things than we were.  A place where a lot of drinking and smoking were going on.  So here it is, I began drinking at 16, it was there and it was offered and I took it, again starting out just to fit in.

One night as we were all sitting on the hood of my car (my moms)…here came a white 1960’s Jaguar…I’m talking cool car!  I don’t remember how in the world we got the guys that were in it to stop and talk to us, but they did.  My best friend and I ended up in the car with them…this car was so cool…the inside was decked out in wood that was very expensive and beautiful, it even had black lights in it…man it was ripped!  As we were riding around in this hot car, with some cool guys having fun, one of the guys took out a joint (marijuanna) and lit it, they all started passing it around…I had no idea of what to do, I had never seen that, I was afraid!  My friend and I wouldn’t have any part of it that night and the guys never pressured us to!  As time passed night after night hanging at the hot spot, meeting up with these guys, riding in a hot looking Jaquar, listening to loud music, and drinking…thinking this was great fun, this was our life with pretend church on the other side.  These guys never pressured us, just liked us for who we were.  We became good friends with them and of course you get the picture, we both eventually caved!!!  We decided to try it (pot)! The day we smoked our first joint was on a Sunday afternoon, we were always at the Sunday night service at our church and we walked in late.  Both of us walked in that service “high,” I will never forget it as long as I live!  It is as if I spit in the face of Jesus!  

Hangest thou in there, more to come (My Life Part 3)!